Hee Hee Hee... Score. A Direct Hit.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators. We should have something for you this afternoon.

Holiday Spirit

I’m usually a poor sport. When it comes to Thanksgiving and Christmas, I’m usually bitching about something with regards to family parties and such. I know. I’m one of THOSE people. Well, I decided to change my outlook a little this year and see how it goes. For instance, in preparation for Halloween I watched the following movies in the month of October:

Coraline- really cool,
Drag Me To Hell- super gross
The Burbs- classic
Rope- interesting
Rear Window- loved it
Psycho- weird little buzzard
True Blood (most of season 1)- scandalously wonderful
Nightmare Before Christmas- amazing
The Birds- funny

So, I watched all these movies and what do you know… it totally got me into the spirit of Halloween. I also went to a few parties that were great. My costumes were as follows: Witch, Nerd, My Hispanic boyfriend Juan & a Zombie.

Unfortunately I only have my pics of Juan. He’s a real catch. He even has a new dog.


He was acting up at the party and really made me mad, but we are back together again.

I know… thanks guys for sticking through it with us through the bad times.



Now, I am preparing for November. A must watch is Home for the Holidays. This movie will knock your socks off in the funny department. I also make on an annual basis Thanksgiving rolls but I feel like I could do a little something more to get into the festivities. Any ideas?

It's Not OCD. yet.. But it's pretty close.

Every time… and I mean EVERY time I go to the restroom… (What I do in there is none of your business, but for the sake of argument, let’s say I’m going number 1 since ladies don’t go number 2) I have to look into the shower or bath tub to make sure nobody is in there. Even if I’m at home and I know that nobody is there.

Peculiar. I don’t know why I do it. Actually, as I just wrote that, I do know why. My Mom and one of her siblings were hiding in the bathroom when they were kids and had to hide in the shower while her Dad went toity. So yeah, I know where it comes from. A) I never want to have to be in the bathroom when someone’s letting loose that I know and B) I never want to be on the pot and have someone listen or jump out and kill me.

I also imagine a blue eye staring back at me every time I look through a peep hole. That’s another story entirely. It’s chilling.

Anyway. Weird.

Side news: I was insecure about the term peep hole. It sounded a little risqué so then I googled door hole. Which is it people? I’m talking about the hole in your door that you look out to see who it is and whether you want to answer it or not. I didn’t have one awhile back and thus mistakenly answered the door to a saleswoman who sprayed liquid on a towel and said

“You could scrub it out, rub it out, or have Mike Tyson punch it out.”


Needless to say, no house is complete without a peephole. (door hole??)

Oh, Okay... Apparently I'm an idiot.

I bought 'Women's One a Day' vitamins. I'm worried because I think I need stronger vitamins... ones that make me smarter. This morning I read the label for about 3 minutes trying to figure out how many of them I should take....Then I realized I'm an idiot.

Maybe I need some Ginko Biloba or something to feed my brain.

Dees- One of Our Favorite 4 Letter Words

Before:




Happily Ever After:

Jen- "Who doesn't like Cheese fries? It's potatoes with Cheese on top."
Me- "Amen Sister."

Yeah, I'm talking to you Banana.

Bananas.. sure, they are chuck full of potassium and are user friendly. But I resent them a little bit.

When I was little I was allergic to strawberries. My Grandma W. (who needs to get out of the hospital asap) used to have an old fall back dessert which was strawberry shortcake. So, naturally, she'd whip it up and get Randi a delicious looking strawberry shortcake and then she'd pull out a crusty old banana (dramatization) and cut it up for me. Have you ever seen a banana shortcake? It looks way less appetizing.





Although I like the taste of banana, I still resent them for not being strawberries. I know. I'm writing this down on my list of things to talk about with my future therapist.

Onward with my thoughts.. so, last week I went to a co-workers office for some candy and what did she have? Laffy Taffy's. I took four. (Because five would have been too much) I ate the good flavors first and was finally left with Banana. Eck. Not the best. And to top it off, here are the jokes on the blasted thing:

What were Tarzan's last words?
"Who Greased the Vine?"

Why did the boy throw butter out his window?
To see a butterfly

Thanks Laffy Taffy... for yucky candy and little Paul from MI and Kallie from CO for two of the worst jokes I've ever heard. Stay in school kids.

The Jerk Store Called.... and They Are Out of You.

My perception of you, Michael Vick, is that you’re an asshole.
That’s my perception.

Regards in your future career with the Eagles. I hope you sprain you’re groin and have to go years before you can get an erection.
Cory

Read this article... on an empty stomach.

Excerpt:
According to the prosecutor's statement of facts in the case, between 2002 and 2007 Michael Vick and his co-conspirators Purnell Peace, Quanis Phillips and Tony Taylor killed thirteen dogs by various methods including wetting one dog down and electrocuting her, hanging, drowning and shooting others and, in at least one case, by slamming a dog’s body to the ground.

Michael Vick didn't make a mistake. He didn't "make a bad choice." Over a period of five years he forced dogs into deadly fights, and he personally killed, or conspired to kill, thirteen dogs. He didn't pick a quick, painless method of killing, but instead chose a variety of means that qualify as torture. Pit Bulls are powerful dogs. Imagine how hard you would have to work to kill a Pit Bull by forcibly drowning him.